Don’t Make Me Kill You Pedro

I see long lines waiting for your rationed drop of lukewarm, brown swill made from leftover grinds, massive reductions in white collar productivity, withdrawal headaches, and widespread snarkiness. I see madness and mayhem.

Attack of the Clams

In some freakish explosion of accelerated evolution borne in a cauldron of sea water, fire, and Old Bay seasoning, the clams had not only sprouted eyes but crude, crab-like legs, enabling them to scurry out of the fire and into the nooks and crannies of the campsite.

I Held Up a Super Walmart

I Held Up a Super Walmart I Held Up a Super Walmart I awoke this morning to discover I mismanaged putting away one of my contact lenses. There it lay, shriveled and dry as a potato chip, glued to the side of my lens case. This created a huge problem for me, for...

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